I feel like I wouldn’t being true to myself or this website if I didn’t do at least one post of Labubu Dubai Matcha Pilates Freaky Friday……Lindsay Lohan…

For those of you who don’t know, Lohan was a bit of an ongoing gag with the site when it was first created.

We would do the Lohan Fact of the Day, where our fake pervert lawyer who went onto run Pornhub would post Lohan facts.

The idea was that Perez Hilton had Paris Hilton as his hook, so we needed something poop culture…..

This evolved to weird places, where I landed Lohan’s phone number and would call her, leaving creepy stalker messages as a joke, when you could joke about rape and killing and other creepy things….

I’m pretty sure I was calling her “Fire Crotch” on the site before Ashley Benson’s baby daddy Brandon called her that in public, because I’ve been calling ginger’s fire crotch since the 80s when I learned they had orange pubic hair. I’m not saying I am that influential….I’m just saying I used to talk about her pubic hair before it was cool.

Eventually, it led to Lohan texting me good morning messages for about a week before Lohan was taken out of my life forever when I was blocked and deleted…this is like 15-20 years ago and I was even included in what became a public meltdown with her girlfriend at the time because she was doing dyke shit…it was all pretty hilarious.

In the VERY short period of time I was connected with her, I tried to recruit her into social media trolls, where we’d manipulate the media in amazing ways, but she didn’t bite. The celebs didn’t see the power of social media trolls and wanted to be left alone….or thought they were too high profile..

The reality is that if she did to my plan, it would have changed the course of my life and I’d be all Hollywood and rich by now, but she didn’t, so I remain in the gutter….

I don’t blame Lohan for my failures, I just think not pitching her right was one of my most high profile failures, and being great at failing is being good at something.

I don’t bother paying attention to Lohan in her old age / wife years, not out of bitterness from 100 years ago, I just never actually cared about celeb pussy.

I still this she’s a legend. Lindsay Lohan, especially in that prime time…epic.

She’s back in the media mix, with her Freakier Friday Disney smut, a journey back to her handlers…check out the brusies on her arm…it may get them all paid huge…..who knows…she seems too robotic, medicated, boring and the Freakier shit than Friday is the face….but luckily I’m just here for the Lohan titties….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan