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Archive for the Text Category

2026

09

Feb

Unsolicited Text Messages of the Day

An influencer or media personality who is on my FACEBOOK, because I am a boomer and I still check my FACEBOOK every once in a while, even though I hate the internet and participating in social media in any way……posted these screenshots of some weirdo who reached out to her with pics of his mommy/baby fetish and I thought it was too iconic to not celebrate.

I had the decency of editing the poor idiot’s name out of the post, but he went at it hard with full face, that anyone who knows him, will know this is the kind of weirdness he sends influencer chicks, just hoping to be seen….which could potentially lead to his killing himself from shame.

I’m just posting it as a public service announcement, because I assume the 3 people who accidentally ended up here are equally weird and consistently message creepy shit to influencer chicks…

So this is a reminder that if you go HARD enough and offend them HARD enough, they will see you.

If you are lucky, they will post you on their instagram or FB for everyone to see, in an attempt to shame you….because girls are mean and if the tables were turned and you posted pics of some fat chick who sends you nudes laughing at her fatness, you’d be the bad guy and end up in jail for digital sexual assault or some shit….double standards….

Which means, you’ve captivated them and MAY one day get their SEX.

Or maybe, you should keep your mommy/baby diaper weirdness to your damn self…

Posted in:Text

2009

24

Dec

All I want for Christmas is Lohan to Send Me a Text Message of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is a bad santa. Let’s hope she doesn’t try to work for the make-a-wish foundation, or even to hit up all the homeless shelters or sick kid hospitals this Christmas for attention cuz she’s a bad fucking santa….

All I asked her for was to send me a couple nude pics and instead she just pretended I don’t exist, because in her world I don’t, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt me on the inside when I sat by my phone while sugar plims danced in my head, waiting for a response, especially when I see these pictures of her so actively and ionately texting some other motherfucker who is proabbly more relevant than me, but I like to think she’s just doing it to mock me knowing she ignored me and driving that point home.

Sure at first I thought maybe she was too busy getting her lips done to use her phone, then I thought that maybe she was doing me a favor because she knows her vagina’s a mess and something not worth seeing and that not sending me nudes a Christmas Miracle in disguise….and it really doesn’t matter cuz she’s in 5 years no one will even who Lohan is…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Chirstmas|Lindsay Lohan|Text